a lot of y’all out here making posts about how much you support enbies but will invalidate them if they don’t fit the mold.
the mold is white, naturally androgynous, non aligned, short hair, really skinny, afab, actively transitioning, identifing as trans, binding, pansexual or asexual, listening to indie or alt music, has a goblincore aesthetic, and maybe dyed hair.
let me clarify, if you fit this mold as a nonbinary person, you’re valid and you’re nonbinary. i’m not saying you aren’t.
i’m just saying if this is the ONLY type of nonbinary person you support, you’reenbyphobic.
nonbinary people can be poc, lesbian, gay, bi, amab, binary aligned, not transistioning, not identifying as trans, fat, and overall not fit your “ùwú enby space babey” aesthetic.
let nonbinary people exist the way they do.
stop treating our identities like things to be discussed or debated NO MATTER WHAT SIDE YOURE ON. nonbinary people are nonbinary and are valid, end of convo. our validity was NEVER up for debate. periodt.
if you take away one thing from this, let it be to LISTEN TO NONBINARY PPL.
- sincerely, a very pissed black autistic nonbinary butch lesbian with she/her and they/them pronouns
terfs/gender critical people and transmeds/truscum, don’t even BREATHE near this post.
nonbinary people can add on but binary trans ppl and cis people should only spread.
I really want to know the origin of this peculiar narrative of people coming out as bi to “fit in” and “be cool.” Literally everyone hates us. Most of us don’t even feel safe in LGBT spaces. Not even the bisexual community is safe from biphobia. People apparently want to fit in… where, exactly?
Honestly the whole “lesbians should try dick or else theyre transphobic” debate really scares me, because for the longest time I was terrified by my lack of attraction to penises.
I was afraid, as a teen in the midst of all the sex-filled gossip highschool has to offer, the sex education, the talks my parents would give. I was afraid of sex because I thought I had to have sex with a penis, and penises revolted me. When I thought of sex and penises, I could only ever imagine terror and tears. It was never something I thought was appealing or interesting, it was always something to fear, because I didn’t like it and I felt like I had to learn to.
When I realized I liked women, it all made sense and I was so relieved. I felt free. The looming fear of sex was gone, I was no longer scared, I knew that I just didn’t like penises and I would never have to interact with them. Finally I could make dirty jokes with my friends, I could listen without feeling gross, because for the longest time the mere mention of sex would cause discomfort- because I was always imagining things I wasn’t attracted to.
But now it’s no longer liberating, because people want to whine about how my attraction isn’t inclusive enough.
Whatever happened to the whole “my body my choice?” Shouldn’t I get some say in who I can and can’t find attractive?
The idea that I should force myself to do the very thing that caused me years of discomfort and fear because you worry it’ll invalidate a few people is fucking disgusting.
You’re going to fuck up a whole generation of young lesbians. They’re going to grow up with that same discomfort, that same fear, but this time it’ll be a reality. Explain that to a young teen grappling with her first crush on a girl, thrust into the sex education classroom, uncomfortable as her friends recount their “wild nights” and worried that she’ll be forced to do the same. Finally she realizes why she doesnt find that attractive, only to be yelled at and forced into submission, forced back into that mindset.
I was afraid of sex for the longest time. I called myself asexual before a lesbian, because sex with a penis wasn’t attractive and I was afraid I’d have to do it anyways. And honestly? You’re just as bad as all the boys who told me that they could “change me.”
Let lesbians have their “genital preference.” It’s not transphobic to have a sexuality.
I’m gonna get so much hate for this but this whole debate makes me so fucking uncomfortable. It makes me so sad. I struggled for so long with my sexuality, and you all have the audacity to invalidate that whole experience. Trans women are wonderful, they’re so valid and amazing, but sex wouldn’t be comfortable for me, and the idea I should have to put up with it anyways is just so fucking wrong. Hate me. Send me hate if you fucking want. Tell me to kill myself, send me gore, whatever the fuck you sjws do. I don’t care. This needs to be said whether or not you fucking like it.
having a preference for a specific set of genitalia makes an assumption about what is in a specific person’s pants.
no one is saying lesbians need to like dick. literally no one is saying that. no one is saying that lesbians need to have sex with penises. that’s not the issue here.
the issue is that there’s transphobia at play when, for example, a cis woman is attracted to a trans woman, without explicitly knowing she’s trans. it’s transphobic when the cis woman becomes aware that the trans woman is trans and is no longer attracted to her because the cis woman is making an assumption about what genitalia the trans woman has.
since no one is born with scanners that lets you see into someone’s pants, any assumptions about another person’s body are just that: assumptions. basing your attraction on assumptions, in this context, is transphobic.
inclusionists, especially cis ones, need to STOP misusing the terms gatekeeping and TERF. like whether they intend to or not, they are being incredibly insensitive to the struggles of trans people, especially the ones of trans women.
like gatekeeping refers to the usually unreasonable standards that trans people have to meet in order to get the resources they need to transition. it is in no way comparable to LGBT people wanting their oppressors out of their community.
terf should be obvious but some of yall have no fucking braincells. terfs literally violently attack or harass trans people, and imo its worse for trans women. they also harass and stalk trans ppl (again mostly trans women) online like theres a whole post abt it on tumblr . terfs will blatantly and intentionally exclude trans people from the community that they helped create.
the fact that (cis) inclus are going around calling exclus terfs, even trans ones which shows their lack of braincells, is just disgusting because it minimizes the impact of the word. terfs are not people who disagree with you, terfs are people who are violently transphobic. stop using terms that describe different types of transphobia to describe “aphobia”
i definitely agree that inclusionists shouldn’t be calling trans exclusionists terfs.
but gatekeeping is not just a term used for the trans community’s struggles. it can be used for anyone who is denied access to a community or resource that they need.
and by the way, lgbt people already have to deal with their oppressors in the community, even before aces and aros were included.
literally the fact that there are people on here begging for oppression is so baffling to me, your problems do not exist outside tumblr log off and go look at a tree instead of forcing yourself into issues of homophobia just because you don’t feel sexual attraction so that absolutely must make you different and oppressed and lgbt
this post is so tone deaf honestly… like no, obviously ace people do not face the same struggles as gay people but they can be incredibly similar,,,, there are ace people who have been discriminated against because they’re ace. pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help anyone.
not to be naive but it still shocks me when people are so apathetic and cruel towards others like .. you’re literally rotting on the inside … , hope you feel better soon ?
I really think we need to stop looking at /solidarity/ as an innate process where oppressed communities NATURALLY align with other oppressed communities and instead look at solidarity as an OVERTLY coalitionary tactic, one that is borne through learning and compassion
